Omg I'm sorry but that's still hilarious.
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ARGH!
- Thread starter Khassy
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She is kind of correct in that demented logic.I've just gotten over a cold and now have a terrible, almost constant cough that's a lovely side effect of a new medication. Also, Kai just started barking at me.
Dementor: Why is he barking? (she's already on edge today, having a really bad memory day)
Me: He's trying to make me give him my half a sandwich.
Dementor: You should be eating some soup.
Me: Naw, I need some protein.
Dementor: You need to be peeing a lot.
Me: What does peeing have to do with my cough?
Dementor: When you pee, the bad stuff goes out with it.
It's kinda hard to argue with that logic, even if it doesn't really apply. lol
If she is getting to that point that duct tape, thumb cuffs and ball gags are your only option do yourself and family a favor, secure locked nursing home.
And it begins again. I was hoping for a longer reprieve. She just slammed the front door and left in a huff. She is out of cigarettes again. It's so irritating that she doesn't realize how much she's smoking. She insists that she SAW my son go into her room last night while she was in bed and stole them off the top of her dresser. She's extremely mad that I don't believe her. He doesn't smoke, he has never smoked, he has asthma. She refuses to believe that, though, and says "well, you don't know what you think you know." This goes on every fucking day. On Saturday, my husband got into it with her because she was going on and on about how bad our lawn looked and how lazy my son was for not mowing it. It gets mowed every weekend, and doesn't look bad at all. I don't know what her obsession is with the lawn but it's really irritating.
*sigh*
*sigh*
AndriaD
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Maybe it's time to tell your husband "either she goes, or I do." I simply wouldn't live with that kind of daily pain in the ass.
Andria
Awesome early anniversary presents like this are the only reason I put up with her. Although I did have a dream last night about having a battle royale with her. She was digging up plants in the yard with a hoe and replanting them where she thought they should go. I yelled at her, she hit me with the hoe, I hit her with a shovel, etc. I wonder if there's a hidden message there somewhere. 
Although I did have a dream last night about having a battle royale with her. She was digging up plants in the yard with a hoe and replanting them where she thought they should go. I yelled at her, she hit me with the hoe, I hit her with a shovel, etc. I wonder if there's a hidden message there somewhere.
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
We have a metal bucket with a lid outside for her to put her cigarette butts in. Got tired of her throwing them next to the house, then complaining that someone has been smoking in our yard. Refusing to believe it was only her. Had to be someone else in our house smoking or some neighbor's kid coming to smoke by our house and hide from their parents.
Just now, she walked into the house with the ash can on fire. Literally. Carried it into the bathroom, put water in it, then carried it back outside. Fire wouldn't be a problem if it was just butts she was throwing in there, but no, she has to throw the cigarette boxes and chip bags in it as well. ARGH.
We have a metal bucket with a lid outside for her to put her cigarette butts in. Got tired of her throwing them next to the house, then complaining that someone has been smoking in our yard. Refusing to believe it was only her. Had to be someone else in our house smoking or some neighbor's kid coming to smoke by our house and hide from their parents.
Just now, she walked into the house with the ash can on fire. Literally. Carried it into the bathroom, put water in it, then carried it back outside. Fire wouldn't be a problem if it was just butts she was throwing in there, but no, she has to throw the cigarette boxes and chip bags in it as well. ARGH.
Would have preferred that she not walk through the house with a flaming bucket, though. What if she dropped it or had fallen? It has a metal lid so all she had to do was put the lid on and it would have extinguished by itself.
LOL.Put a tent in the back yard. Say if you want to smoke indoors you can live in the tent
Then hand a shovel and say you can take care of business in the hole you dig
I think she's burned out the sensors in her nose, can't smell her own stink. And yeah, the house STINKS now. I had to light a candle.
AndriaD
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I would definitely already have said "Either she goes... or I do." I got my son started on vaping because he came back home to live, and we don't wanna smell that stink, not even the stale stink he'd bring in with him from smoking outdoors.
Andria
This thread is in my top 5 VU threads, why you ask??? Because I have a MIL that thank goodness does not live with us , but that lives with SIL and daily we hear about things like this that are so similar it's freaky, almost word per word.
Her last attempt to do it "herself" cost her a fractured hip and a dangerous head concussion, but refuses to listen, accept any help, and is sometimes combative to those who try to help. And yes....she is a smoker who refuses to try vaping.
Her last attempt to do it "herself" cost her a fractured hip and a dangerous head concussion, but refuses to listen, accept any help, and is sometimes combative to those who try to help. And yes....she is a smoker who refuses to try vaping.
Yeah, I've said that and they've talked about the next step. But it's a family of massive procrastinators, especially as long as it doesn't directly affect them. *sigh* I've pretty much reached the end of my rope, though. Got into another shouting match with her over her accusations of theft (she absolutely insists she saw my son go into her room and steal her money - every night) so we bought a latch and installed it on the inside of her bedroom door. So she can keep people out at night and we wouldn't have to hear about it anymore. Sounds reasonable, right? Nope, she says she doesn't use it, then the accusations come the next day like clockwork.
Hopefully it won't be latched if something happens where you have to get to her in an emergency, because of her dementia that may not be a good thing
It'd be easy enough to kick in. Would have to replace the door frame but that's easily done.
Honestly, it came from a neighbor. The Dementor was bitching to her that we keep stealing her stuff and she asked her why she didn't lock her door. Dementor told her we didn't allow her to lock the door. WTF. Her doorknob doesn't have a lock on it. NONE of our inside doorknobs do. When I heard about it, I thought fine, good idea, then she'll stop bitching. Wishful thinking, indeed.
Dementia is a progressive neurological disorder. My step pop had it after they (paramedics) brought him back to life when they shouldn't have. My mom lived with him in that condition for less than a year (until his death). Those were the best months I had with step pop. He was magical and child like. He imagined us as "kids" again. It was sad but the best memories I had of our relationship. Before he was a depressed ex-alcoholic who was inverted in his own thoughts.
Khassy I wish you well in your journey. It's sad that your MIL cannot get the help she needs. It sounds like her stage of dementia is progressing. I have worked with dementia most of my life. Its a horrible disease/disorder. She sounds like she would benefit from a assisted living type dementia unit with locked wards.
Khassy I wish you well in your journey. It's sad that your MIL cannot get the help she needs. It sounds like her stage of dementia is progressing. I have worked with dementia most of my life. Its a horrible disease/disorder. She sounds like she would benefit from a assisted living type dementia unit with locked wards.
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Its a terrible thing. My MIL has it and my FIL, a great guy, has cancer and is constantly having chemo to keep it in check. But, she believes he is faking it for attention. Like having to wear a colostomy bag is faking it huh!
She screams abuse at him and calls him names every day. She has her good moments mind you but the bad are bad. I myself live with someone with a mental illness and right now am sitting in my car alone by a lake for a reprieve. Its a toss of the coin what I'll be greeted by when i get home but for now its nice and quiet..ahhh.
She screams abuse at him and calls him names every day. She has her good moments mind you but the bad are bad. I myself live with someone with a mental illness and right now am sitting in my car alone by a lake for a reprieve. Its a toss of the coin what I'll be greeted by when i get home but for now its nice and quiet..ahhh.
The Dementor made friends with a woman in the neighborhood who walks her dog past our house every day. They've been hanging out a lot lately and have been taking weekly trips to a casino in Milwaukee. The neighbor says she can relate because her mother had dementia before she died. Unfortunately, it seems that she may be taking advantage of The Dementor. They went to the casino yesterday for a few hours and it turns out they stopped by the ATM on the way there, and The Dementor managed to blow through about $240 in one day. We've now had to hid her ATM card and she'll only be able to go to get money out when we're with her. She normally gets $60 out every two weeks or so, and most of it is spent on her cigarettes.
Sad, because I met the neighbor and thought she was a nice lady. But we can't allow The Dementor to be sucked dry of her money like that.
Sad, because I met the neighbor and thought she was a nice lady.
But we can't allow The Dementor to be sucked dry of her money like that.
Mine woke up 2 hours late this morning (had a bad night sleeping apparently), but came out of her room with a dance in her step, literally, kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me. I was pretty much terrified. About an hour ago, she went outside to smoke a cigarette and was sobbing. No clue why. As my husband said, "No explaining her anymore."
The Dementor is convinced her friend are just using her for her money. For instance, she's absolutely convinced that her best friend is using her for it because she thinks whenever they go to McDonalds to play Skipbo, The Dementor always buys their sodas. She's ready to call quits to a very long friendship in which her friend has put up with a great bit of bullshit, over a $1.50 soda. Even though they take turns buying for each other.
Money seems to be one common area of paranoia. My MIL was always going on about people stealing her money. She always had a $100 bill stolen from her. If we had all those $100's back we would be sitting pretty. Sadly she passed away Sunday and for the most part we have very sad story's to tell. I am finding out even story's of how she was are getting over shadowed by story's of what she became. Feel bad for the wife's family.
Oh, @Raymcconn, I'm really sorry for your loss.
Last night, my husband had conversation with The Dementor about her finances. Went over the same material, over and over and over, for at least a half hour before she went to bed. How much money does she have in the bank, shouldn't she have more, what she's spent money on, etc. It's not the first time, either. She gets in these moods where she just completely obsesses over it. Dunno what triggered it. She's always thinking we're stealing money from her. "I've never taken any money out of the bank. Shouldn't there be more?" "Well, you take about $60 each week for cigarettes and spending money." "I don't remember ever doing that." My husband prints out her bank statement once a month for her so she can see what she's taken out, but she insists it wasn't her. Even though she's the only one that has access to it. *sigh*
She had her yearly physical last week. My husband asked the doctor about getting her on mood stabilizers. Nope, he doesn't want her taking any unless she's in a facility. But doesn't think she's ready for a facility. He's such a jackass. I've hated him for years. I think he's just hoping she dies before he has to actually treat her for anything.
Last night, my husband had conversation with The Dementor about her finances. Went over the same material, over and over and over, for at least a half hour before she went to bed. How much money does she have in the bank, shouldn't she have more, what she's spent money on, etc. It's not the first time, either. She gets in these moods where she just completely obsesses over it. Dunno what triggered it. She's always thinking we're stealing money from her. "I've never taken any money out of the bank. Shouldn't there be more?" "Well, you take about $60 each week for cigarettes and spending money." "I don't remember ever doing that." My husband prints out her bank statement once a month for her so she can see what she's taken out, but she insists it wasn't her. Even though she's the only one that has access to it. *sigh*
She had her yearly physical last week. My husband asked the doctor about getting her on mood stabilizers. Nope, he doesn't want her taking any unless she's in a facility. But doesn't think she's ready for a facility. He's such a jackass. I've hated him for years. I think he's just hoping she dies before he has to actually treat her for anything.
Thank you.
I will ask my wife what the medicine was my MIL was on while at home. We had to tell her it was a nerve pill so she would take it. LOL
It did seem to work for a while, so I know there are meds the doctor could give her.
Maybe take a video of her when she is in one of her moods. That is what we had to do. Thank you again.
I will ask my wife what the medicine was my MIL was on while at home. We had to tell her it was a nerve pill so she would take it. LOL
It did seem to work for a while, so I know there are meds the doctor could give her.
Maybe take a video of her when she is in one of her moods. That is what we had to do. Thank you again.
She does take two pills right now, so adding another one wouldn't be that big of a deal. She has a pacemaker so she takes meds for that. And ibuprofen for her wonky knee. He just sucks as a doctor. I used to go to him myself ages ago. I'd go in there reeling in pain and weak as a newborn baby, and he'd blow it off. "You're just depressed. I'll give you some Prozac." WTF? My husband had to insist that he send me to someone else. He refuses to believe in fibromyalgia. "I don't believe in anything I can't definitively test for." His exact words. Never went back to him again after that. But she's been going to him for decades and LOVES him. Thinks he walks on water. Ugh.
The one was called Aricept, it upset her stomach so it was switched to a patch. I am sorry we cant remember that one. I have been lucky and found some good doctors, if I had that doctor I probably wouldn't be walking right now. I don't blame you for not liking him.
UGh sounds like the hacky quack fuck my Grandmother went to.
Fucked her diet to death and then pumped full of pills, for decades.
Took her to one of the top gerontologists in the area with a specialization in dementia.
Diet change and different meds gave her some improved time.
Fucked her diet to death and then pumped full of pills, for decades.
Took her to one of the top gerontologists in the area with a specialization in dementia.
Diet change and different meds gave her some improved time.
When I worked at a nursing home if a resident's Dr. changed we simply told them their doctor had retired. You will have to remind her every time she sees the new dr., but at least you would get the help you need.
Depending on the meds and if she is taking ibo daily in how much her diet will aide in the rapid mental decline.
For Gandma she told her that eggs, butter and fats at her age should not be avoided and increased her fat and egg intake from none to as much as she wanted. Also added some nutrients.
Honestly she was far gone but it was like instant grandma that I never knew.
For Gandma she told her that eggs, butter and fats at her age should not be avoided and increased her fat and egg intake from none to as much as she wanted. Also added some nutrients.
Honestly she was far gone but it was like instant grandma that I never knew.
Yesterday was a rough one for me. When I got up, she was gone. No idea where she'd gone and she didn't have her phone with her so I couldn't track her. So all we could do was wait til either she came home or someone came/called to let us know something had happened to her. She got home just before noon. She'd gone with her friend that lives up the street to drive around. They went to see the house she used to live in, went for breakfast, drove around some more, went to get ice cream, etc., before coming back. Keep in mind, all of this information is what I got afterwards, when I talked to her friend later (who I don't trust much, apparently for good reason).
About a half hour after she got home, she got up, went to the bathroom and disappeared again. Neither my son nor I heard the door open or close, but when we went to look for her literally 2 minutes after she went to the bathroom, she was gone. Luckily, after she'd gotten home, I made sure to stick her phone in her handbag, so I could see that she'd gone to her friend's house again. I sent my son to fetch her back, as another friend of hers (who we DO trust) was coming to see her.
So I was on the phone with her first friend, finding out what had happened during the time she was gone. During the conversation, it comes out that she's been telling her friend, and anyone else who'd listen, some horrible things about us. Me in particular. Things like that I hated her, didn't want her around, was stealing her jewelry and money, that she has to sleep with her purse under her pillow or things would be stolen out of it, that we force her to pay for groceries twice a week and food deliveries all the time, that I have never cooked for her and she has to do all the cooking, that we refuse to put a lock on her bedroom door so she can feel safe, etc. You get the picture.
I was heartbroken and irate. I've done everything I can to make her as comfortable and happy as possible. She has NEVER paid for groceries. We don't even make her reimburse us for things that we buy her every week that only she eats, like her two pounds of candy per week or 2 liters of soda she drinks per day. She never pays for anything here. We've never asked or expected her to even though we legally could. We put a latch on her bedroom door, but she doesn't use it. No one has ever stolen anything from her, money or jewelry or anything else. She's NEVER cooked, not in a year and a half. I cook everything. I make sure she has a good breakfast with a glass of milk, otherwise she just drinks soda all day. I make sure she has lunch if she's hungry, and I always make dinner. On rare occasions, we have pizza delivered.
I talked to my husband about it after she went to bed last night. I told him everything she was telling people, and he saw how upset I was. He said okay, after we get things settled with my younger son next week (he's got some stuff to do for a new job), he'll tell the others he's putting her in a home.
This morning, he messaged me and said he'd be coming home at noon and not to let her go anywhere with her friend up the street. Turns out, $310 was taken out of her bank account yesterday. Dunno what he's coming home to do, but it seems at last, something will be done and it won't all be on my shoulders anymore. *sigh*
About a half hour after she got home, she got up, went to the bathroom and disappeared again. Neither my son nor I heard the door open or close, but when we went to look for her literally 2 minutes after she went to the bathroom, she was gone. Luckily, after she'd gotten home, I made sure to stick her phone in her handbag, so I could see that she'd gone to her friend's house again. I sent my son to fetch her back, as another friend of hers (who we DO trust) was coming to see her.
So I was on the phone with her first friend, finding out what had happened during the time she was gone. During the conversation, it comes out that she's been telling her friend, and anyone else who'd listen, some horrible things about us. Me in particular. Things like that I hated her, didn't want her around, was stealing her jewelry and money, that she has to sleep with her purse under her pillow or things would be stolen out of it, that we force her to pay for groceries twice a week and food deliveries all the time, that I have never cooked for her and she has to do all the cooking, that we refuse to put a lock on her bedroom door so she can feel safe, etc. You get the picture.
I was heartbroken and irate. I've done everything I can to make her as comfortable and happy as possible. She has NEVER paid for groceries. We don't even make her reimburse us for things that we buy her every week that only she eats, like her two pounds of candy per week or 2 liters of soda she drinks per day. She never pays for anything here. We've never asked or expected her to even though we legally could. We put a latch on her bedroom door, but she doesn't use it. No one has ever stolen anything from her, money or jewelry or anything else. She's NEVER cooked, not in a year and a half. I cook everything. I make sure she has a good breakfast with a glass of milk, otherwise she just drinks soda all day. I make sure she has lunch if she's hungry, and I always make dinner. On rare occasions, we have pizza delivered.
I talked to my husband about it after she went to bed last night. I told him everything she was telling people, and he saw how upset I was. He said okay, after we get things settled with my younger son next week (he's got some stuff to do for a new job), he'll tell the others he's putting her in a home.
This morning, he messaged me and said he'd be coming home at noon and not to let her go anywhere with her friend up the street. Turns out, $310 was taken out of her bank account yesterday. Dunno what he's coming home to do, but it seems at last, something will be done and it won't all be on my shoulders anymore. *sigh*
That is a horrible day. Especially when they accuse you of doing all sort of stuff and all you do is take care of them. That is what finally got to my wife and she could no longer take. I hope today is a better day for you although it sounds like it could get a bit harry this afternoon regarding money.
Home time I suspect.
It's been a very rough week. It turns out that we had a very good reason not to trust The Dementor's nearby friend. It seems the missing $310 from her account is because the bad friend had her cash a third party check from her son or brother, which then bounced. So she now owes The Dementor $310 she doesn't have. Says she'll pay her back on the third of next month when she gets money. She'd damn well better, we have the bounced check and are holding onto it until she does. If she doesn't, we'll press charges against her for bank fraud.
She's very sorry that she did it, even more so because of The Dementor's mental facilities. Her memory is hit and miss. She knows that the bad friend owes her money, but forgets that she's already agreed to pay it back and how much it is. So several times a day, we have to go fetch her because she's over there insisting that they pay her back the $1000 she's owed.
She remembers that they are bad people and she shouldn't hang out with them anymore, but confuses the money issue. She's gonna nag the shit out of them until they pay her back and probably even after that.
Well, silver lining of sorts. Seems hubby has been saving some money on the side for things. Like a new computer for himself. He deserves it, as he hasn't had a new computer in a couple of decades. He just gets hand-me-downs from either myself or the kids. So I'm not upset that he got one for himself. He, however, is feeling a little guilty about it (he never spoils himself, just me), as well as having to put up with The Dementor and the stress causing a pretty bad fibro flare-up, so he's said I could buy a new mod I've been eyeballing - the Aegis. I'd commented that there was a squonker I'd had an eye on, and was having a hard time deciding between the two. So he said to go ahead and get it, too - an HCigar Inbox.
So, yay, I'm getting two new mods!
The Dementor still needs to be dealt with in a long-term manner, but it's nice to get something new as a reward. lol
She's very sorry that she did it, even more so because of The Dementor's mental facilities. Her memory is hit and miss. She knows that the bad friend owes her money, but forgets that she's already agreed to pay it back and how much it is. So several times a day, we have to go fetch her because she's over there insisting that they pay her back the $1000 she's owed.
She remembers that they are bad people and she shouldn't hang out with them anymore, but confuses the money issue. She's gonna nag the shit out of them until they pay her back and probably even after that.Well, silver lining of sorts. Seems hubby has been saving some money on the side for things. Like a new computer for himself. He deserves it, as he hasn't had a new computer in a couple of decades. He just gets hand-me-downs from either myself or the kids. So I'm not upset that he got one for himself. He, however, is feeling a little guilty about it (he never spoils himself, just me), as well as having to put up with The Dementor and the stress causing a pretty bad fibro flare-up, so he's said I could buy a new mod I've been eyeballing - the Aegis. I'd commented that there was a squonker I'd had an eye on, and was having a hard time deciding between the two. So he said to go ahead and get it, too - an HCigar Inbox.
So, yay, I'm getting two new mods!
The Dementor still needs to be dealt with in a long-term manner, but it's nice to get something new as a reward. lol
Dementor: I'm going to cut the grass.
Me: [Dementor], you can't cut the grass. [No. 2 son] will do it as soon as he gets home from work.
Dementor: Why can't I cut the grass?
Me: Because the lawn mower is too heavy for you. I can't cut the grass, either.
Dementor: Oh, I can too cut the grass. I've cut the grass before.
Me: You haven't cut the grass since you were very young.
Dementor: Right, I cut the grass when I was a teenager.
Me: You're not a teenager anymore, you're 87.
Dementor: Oh, I'm still as strong as I was then.
Me: ... (silently asking why she can't open a bottle of soda and struggles with bananas, if that's the case. lol)
Me: [Dementor], you can't cut the grass. [No. 2 son] will do it as soon as he gets home from work.
Dementor: Why can't I cut the grass?
Me: Because the lawn mower is too heavy for you. I can't cut the grass, either.
Dementor: Oh, I can too cut the grass. I've cut the grass before.
Me: You haven't cut the grass since you were very young.
Dementor: Right, I cut the grass when I was a teenager.
Me: You're not a teenager anymore, you're 87.
Dementor: Oh, I'm still as strong as I was then.
Me: ... (silently asking why she can't open a bottle of soda and struggles with bananas, if that's the case. lol)
Things have been rough still, with no changes in the near future. I just haven't been up to writing an epic about what's been going on. *sigh* Suffice it to say that we now have a new motion-activated webcam set up, pointed at her bedroom door because of the phantom male that keeps stealing her shit.
She'll argue about that too. Because this new-fangled technology shit, you can't trust it y'know.
Andria
Oh, she does. Even though we show her the footage, she sarcastically says "I guess it was a ghost."
AndriaD
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Well, my husband may be a huge procrastinator about most things, but I gotta give him props for taking care of me when I really need it. I'm in severe pain today and can barely move, so he's picking up dinner for everyone.
Thank god for great husbands! 30 yrs w/mine; sometimes I kinda wanna choke him, but divorce? NEVER!
Andria
Thank god for great husbands! 30 yrs w/mine; sometimes I kinda wanna choke him, but divorce? NEVER!
Andria
Same here. I've forbidden him from getting seriously ill or dying before me. lol
AndriaD
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Exactly! He's under strictest orders that I have to go first -- and that if he ever comes home and find me on the floor, whether I'm dead or still clinging to life, NOT to call 911, because I do NOT want my last hours in some fucking torture cham--- er, hospital that is.
Nor do I want to outlive anyone who gives a single damn about me. Until I quit smoking, that last wasn't a huge fear... but now, I have to consider it -- longevity runs in the females of my grandmother's line, though my mom pissed her health away so drastically that she didn't benefit from that piece of heredity.Andria