ARGH!

Discussion in 'U MAD BRO??' started by Khassy, Apr 12, 2017.

  1. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    From what I have been told my MIL wasn't the nicest person to begin with. She has always talked nasty, it would shock me. I am not a prude but it would get bad sometimes. I wouldn't go over to her house that often because of how she acted. I really think this started years and years ago. This has taught me one thing, and I have someone checking on it today. Make sure I have nursing home insurance, I don't want to have to put my kids through any of this. If this was to happen to me.
     
  2. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    Yeah, when she gets mean and shitty is what bothers my husband the most. Funny thing is bad language has always offended her, but now she throws around words like "bitch" and "bullshit" like it's nothing.

    Same. I walked around on eggshells with my own mother for years, never knowing when she'd lose her shit over nothing. I find myself doing the same thing now. I think the only time I seriously lost my temper with my MIL is when she was mad and called my older son "that thing." I totally lost it and yelled at her. I'll put up with a lot but I won't put up with her abusing my kids, even verbally. I may have to deal with it but they don't.
     
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  3. AndriaD

    AndriaD Shine on, you crazy... VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years ECF Refugee

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    My mom was always a mild cusser, hell and damn and shit, but she prided herself on never saying the F word... at least, until she got wicked drunk. But her nastiness was a lot more than language. It was that she always knew the right way to hurt me, to embarrass me, to make me feel small... which had the opposite from its intended effect, and just made me all the more eager to get the fuck away from her. 800 miles was nice. :) Once when I told her that no, I really didn't care if people "talked" about me but I hoped they at least told the truth, she told me I was psychopathic. I replied that anyone who had nothing better to do than gossip about me had a seriously boring life, and I hoped I at least helped to entertain them.

    An example of her emotional abuse: she always worked when I was young, because she divorced my drunk dad when I was 5... and until I got out of single digits, I pined for her. So I was always a stay-at-home mom, feeling that my child's wellbeing had a lot more to do with attention than a fancy house, and that I could not trust anyone else to have a vested interest in my child's wellbeing. My husband agreed wholeheartedly, so even though we were always kinda broke, my son knew that anytime he needed me, I was there -- I thought that kind of security was actually priceless for his longterm adjustment. But my mom always had to point out that if I worked, they wouldn't have to help us with groceries and clothes for our son, though I'm not really sure that's true, given that I have no degree and would have been extremely limited on job choices. It was just that whatever I did was never right, in her eyes.

    Andria
     
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  4. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    [​IMG]

    As my kids have become adults, I may not agree with all of their choices, but I've tried hard to keep my opinions to myself and be supportive of them. When my younger son was involved with a horrid woman more than 20 years his elder, I tried not to criticize but let him figure out for himself that she wasn't a good person, and was there for him when they finally split up. I try to nudge them in the right direction in certain things, but what they ultimately do is up to them.
     
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  5. AndriaD

    AndriaD Shine on, you crazy... VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years ECF Refugee

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    Yeah... after having endured my mom's attempts at controlling me, all I've ever wanted for my son, and told him as much, as that he be the best HIM he can be, and be happy doing it. Even when he told me, at the age of 18, that he was either bi or gay, he hadn't figured out which yet, I told him all I wanted for him was to be happy, with whatever choices he made, and that as far as sexual or romantic partners, all I really cared about was that he respect himself and the person he chose to be with, and that they respect him too. His dad agrees with all that. I also told him that if he ever ran across any "needy" people... RUN AWAY FAST!!! :giggle:

    When he was in high school, my mom objected to the fact that he enjoyed video games and the whole DnD scene, and not sports. "He's a geek," she said. I said, yes, and the richest man in the world is a geek, so where exactly is the problem? ;) She says "You need to make him get into sports." I said "The only thing I'm going to MAKE him is food!" Once when he was 15, he called me a control freak -- and I laughed at him. I said "with the grammy that you have... you think *I* am a control freak?" He thought about that, and promptly apologized. :D

    Andria
     
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  6. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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  7. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    This sounds promising.
     
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  8. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    We're having mini cinnamon sugar-coated donuts for breakfast.

    Her: Wow, these are salty! (she often complains about things being too salty when they're fine to everyone else)
    Me: Salty? There's no salt on them.
    Her: Well, this stuff on top.
    Me: That's sugar and cinnamon.
    Her: Well, it's the same thing.
    Me: Sugar and salt are very different, not at all the same thing.
    Her: Well, salt is what you put on things, sugar is in them. So this is like salt.
    Me: ... o_O
     
  9. AndriaD

    AndriaD Shine on, you crazy... VU Donator Diamond Contributor Member For 2 Years ECF Refugee

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    Gruel. That's what she needs. oatmeal, with zero sugar or butter or anything.

    Andria
     
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  10. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    The odd thing is that she was eating really bizarre stuff this time last year. She'd have a salad with salad dressing, jelly and enchiladas on it. She would combine all sorts of weird shit together. Then slowly stopped eating like that and has gotten to the point where she doesn't like much seasoning on things at all. Strange.
     
  11. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    Sounds like she might of or beginning to loose her taste. I know my MIL can not taste much if anything anymore. We think that is why it is hard to get her to eat. Well that and according to her we never feed her anyway.
    Now on a lighter note, her bedroom is close to the kitchen, her TV is so loud you can hear it in the kitchen. So I went into the kitchen Friday and she had put on a music channel. Well she was in her room listening to Iron Madden. LOL
     
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  12. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    I think it's more likely from the pack of cigs she smokes every day. Or close to a pack. She's constantly complaining (in a joking way, usually) about how I'm going to make her fat by feeding her so much. But she usually eats 2 meals a day, doesn't eat much at either of them, and none of her clothes are getting too tight. :giggle:

    That's awesome! Mine can't figure out how to use the TV remote so we have a note that we keep with it that tells her exactly which one button to push to turn it on. Sometimes, though, she doesn't bother looking at the note so she'll sit here for 2 hours until I get up pressing every single button on the remote. Stubborn ol' nag. :facepalm:
     
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  13. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    She does try and answer it as if it was a phone also. Even when the phone never rang. :giggle:
     
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  14. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    Mine can't remember how to use her phone. Ever. We've tried and it's hopeless. We just have her carry it because it has her name and our address and contact info on the back of the case. :giggle:
     
  15. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    Trust me It might be a blessing she cant use phone. One time she actually answered her phone and it was my wife's doctors office. She went on to the receptionist how we abuse her. So no phone is not a bad thing. I sometimes unplug it from main phone so it wont ring. LOL
     
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  16. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    We tried drilling into her head that she needs to wait until it shows who is calling, because she gets a ton of spam calls, mostly because of the bankruptcy. People wanting to give her loans and all kinds of idiots. She couldn't grasp that if it was someone she knew, it would show their name and photo and otherwise, she shouldn't answer it. But occasionally she would and it was funny as hell listening to her going "What? WHAT? WHAT?? I don't understand what you're saying!" for several minutes to the telemarketers.

    I just got a hug and a kiss on the cheek. o_O She said I was a good person and a good helper. I helped her clean the 3 pounds of flotsam from her handbag and get her ready to get picked up by her friend. When I told my husband, he said, "Day's still young." :giggle:
     
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  17. Raymcconn

    Raymcconn Bronze Contributor

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    We try same thing or I should say tried same thing. Now we just carry phone with us. If it is her friend or family we let her try and answer
    At least it is a nice way to start the day. Maybe it is a sign today will be a good day!!
     
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  18. Khassy

    Khassy Gold Contributor

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    I hope so. God knows she's been in a shitty enough mood all weekend.
     
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