Electricity is just magic and too many electrons hurt.
LOL
LOL
Not only the docs what do such bullshit. While back I applied for a janitorial 'service' position. 'They" had contracts to clean out banks, well not in the way you think, ahem to clean the office spaces and lobbies so on. Figured it'd be a great job, nights, easy going crew, pros, all good. So i got an 'interview' call. It was basically "Ya got a pulse? 'yes sir, got work?' you really want the job? 'yes sir, need money coming in, it's nice.' erm, okay I'll call the guy leading the crew in your area, I'm up in Ohio at the time but I'll call him, you ought to hear from him in a week. bye. 'oh, thank you ..' *click*". That was like near six months ago and the creds for the 'big company' read legit, read cold hard pro, read vets welcome, read sharp .... aw well. Always refer myself back to the 12 monkeys line ... "Fuck the Bozos!"
Proofreading
Last night we had some fun with questions that had rather dubious wording, making the exact meaning of said question... uh, questionable.
Like being able to take a picture with a wooden leg when you all know you need a camera to take a picture. Well, here's some signs seen in various businesses that might make you do a double take.
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
(Did I read that sign right?)
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In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.
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In a department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS...
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In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.
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In another office:
AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.
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Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
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Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...
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Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS, PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.
(I sure hope those elephants stay in their car)
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Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.
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Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
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Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.
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On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)
(They can repair anything? Except the doorbell? Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?)
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And then there are the stupid newspaper headlines:
.
.
MAN KILLS SELF BEFORE SHOOTING WIFE AND DAUGHTER
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
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SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
Really? Ya' think?
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POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
Now that's taking things a bit far!
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PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER
What a nice guy!
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MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
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JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
See if that works better than a fair trial!
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WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE
I can see where it might have that effect!
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IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE
Ya' think?!
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COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES
Who would have thought!
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ENFIELD ( London ) COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE
They may be on to something!
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RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
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MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING; FACES BATTERY CHARGE
He probably IS the battery charge!
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NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP
Weren't they fat enough?!
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ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
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KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS
Do the kids taste like chicken?
****************************** ****************************** ********************
LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
****************************** ****************************** ******************************
HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS
Boy, are they tall!
****************************** ****************************** ******************************
And the winner is:
TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD
Did I read that right?
****************************** ****************************** ****************************** ***
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send
this to someone to whom you want to bring a smile..... (maybe even a chuckle).
And the banner news that often floats along the bottom of the news screen has so many misspellings that it make one wonder if they hired kindergarten children instead of college grads to type that crap. And the terrible misuse of wrong words... there/their/they're your/you're interchanged, etc.I have noticed the younger generation moving into the world of news and other media.
The quality has dropped in editorial quality.
When I was in school (back when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, obviously), one could not be a journalist without first being a writer, and everyone knew (back then anyway) that a writer MUST have an excellent grasp of grammar, spelling, punctuation, sentence syntax... Today's snowflakes do not even know what syntax is ... uh, that's money you pay the government to commit a sin, right? I got super pissed the other day when I read an article that said Webster's latest edition of the dictionary included hundreds of new made-up words the millennials created, and once in the dictionary, are to be considered to be valid.illiteracy rears its ignorant head in the field of journalism
That is almost word-for-word what I said to Wifey when I first saw Liberty's insurance commercial. "You picked the wrong plan." "No, I picked the wrong insurance company." Hey, dumb ass, read the small print. To get total replacement cost with THAT company you must also pick the right plan. They must believe we are all as stupid as they are.Anyway the insurance commercials.
One company has a person complaining that they would not get full replacement value for their car they ran into a tree.
And the message is that their insurance agent told them that they had bought the wrong policy and that with the better brand X insurance they will get full replacement with their new car replacement policy...
Duhh they also could pick the wrong policy with them as well...
Commercials are targeting the not so bright portions of our society I think.
Yep exactly the same commercial.That is almost word-for-word what I said to Wifey when I first saw Liberty's insurance commercial. "You picked the wrong plan." "No, I picked the wrong insurance company." Hey, dumb ass, read the small print. To get total replacement cost with THAT company you must also pick the right plan. They must believe we are all as stupid as they are.
I have over 40 dictionaries in my den -- print copies. They range from standard Websters, Oxford, Dictionary of Scientific Literacy, Geographical Dictionary, Dictionary of the American West, etc., etc. and I will never part with them. I refuse to let today's assholes change history on me.Once the dictionary went digital instead of print it was it's death as an authority.
yes but over the next couple of decades we will see history become a bit more fluid.I have over 40 dictionaries in my den -- print copies. They range from standard Websters, Oxford, Dictionary of Scientific Literacy, Geographical Dictionary, Dictionary of the American West, etc., etc. and I will never part with them. I refuse to let today's assholes change history on me.
The only wreck I was in was not my fault. The other driver was not insured. Not only was I covered 100% with liability and uninsured driver, but my rate didn't even go up.
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No injuries. I was rear ended, while stopped and waiting to make a left turn.Ahh depends on how much medical bills and such you have.
There are limits and with todays medical costs...
I know from personal experience...
They are already trying. Obama made new history books trying to say Islam helped found this country. Bullshit! The only Moslems (not Muslims) in this country were pirates. And, no, Christophoro Columbo (his name was NOT Christopher Columbus) NEVER set foot in what is now the USA... we only created a Columbus Day to pacify the Italian immigrants.over the next couple of decades we will see history become a bit more fluid
They are already trying. Obama made new history books trying to say Islam helped found this country. Bullshit! The only Moslems (not Muslims) in this country were pirates. And, no, Christophoro Columbo (his name was NOT Christopher Columbus) NEVER set foot in what is now the USA... we only created a Columbus Day to pacify the Italian immigrants.
Nobody was injured, even tho my car was totalled. Thank goodness for that!Check your policy in my state your injuires would be covered by your insurance and the standard coverage is 10K...
And I have 300K liability but my policy only has 10K for MY injuries....
lies my history teacher taught me
Should be required reading.An excellent book!
I got copies for both my kids when they were in HS
Should be required reading.
But the majority of parents see school more as a baby sitter than a source of education anyway...
Because, for some reason, our government promotes keeping us separated, so we have African Americans (even though they have never been to Africa), Italian Americans (even though they cannot even find Italy on a map), Mexican Americans (some of whom don't speak any Spanish), etc., etc. My feeling is that if you were born here, whether you are white, black, yellow, red, brown, or purple, you are just AMERICANS! Stop the damn divisionism!And why can't people just be Mericans and have to keep their 'tribes'?
You are what you are not what your ancestors were.
A big Amen!Because, for some reason, our government promotes keeping us separated, so we have African Americans (even though they have never been to Africa). Italian Americans (even though they cannot even find Italy on a map), Mexican Americans (some of whom don't speak any Spanish), etc., etc. My feeling is that if you were born here, whether you are white, black, yellow, red, brown, or purple, you are just AMERICANS! Stop the damn divisionism!
Most parents would not want their kids coming home and asking questions that the parents could not answer.
The old ignorant thing of someone getting too good for their upbringing is still alive and well.
yeah same here.... And why organized religion does not suit either of us.I was constantly in trouble for such behavior - what a load of crap
I've learned (and still do) tons from my kids
Many of the diverse kids prefer to be diverse, and hate anyone that does not fit their diversity. Its a behavior taught by their parents.A big Amen!
But a divided populace is easier to mislead and control and otherwise take advantage of.
Read back quickly, Jimi. We have found lots of things to rant about tonight.Evening old pharts, yeah i am late to the party again
I like how kids dress and act in just a few specific ways to be diverseMany of the diverse kids prefer to be diverse, and hate anyone that does not fit their diversity. Its a behavior taught by their parents.
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The sad thing, is that I cannot cite examples without coming off as a racist.I like how kids dress and act in just a few specific ways to be diverse
The sad thing, is that I cannot cite examples without coming off as a racist.
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Try speaking about that to the ones who do it. They'd probably gang up and try to whoop your butt just for saying it.Ahh but saggy britches and underwear showing is not racist, nor are any of the other things I mentioned.
Racist is saying someone is somehow substandard because of their skin tone or their past heritage.
Being substandard because of ones current actions is NOT racist, just stupid.
Yep they would but it is not racism on my part.Try speaking about that to the ones who do it. They'd probably gang up and try to whoop your butt just for saying it.
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And the kids are all pissed off they'll hafta wait til age 21 to buy a gun. Hah!Kid shot himself in a local HS today, accidentally while showing off a gun in school.
have no idea of his race but he was just stupid on many levels.
heck imho half of them should not even drive till 21 now a days.And the kids are all pissed off they'll hafta wait til age 21 to buy a gun. Hah!
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Considering how long it takes for them to mature enough to have a job and an apartment, maybe 30 should be a good minimum age.heck imho half of them should not even drive till 21 now a days.
Can't seem to drive for texting...
My pillow is calling. Goodnight, Cromwell.I think I may have ran Jimi off....