Hey there,
Jimi, the Buddhists got one thing
very right with their concept of nonattachment, aka “letting go”.
In Buddhism, nonattachment refers to “engagement with experience with flexibility and without fixation on achieving specified outcomes.” Or, putting it another way, experiencing something without being so focused on the outcome that you’re disappointed or let down when that desired outcome doesn’t happen.
One study found that people who practiced non-attachment tended to be more mindful, had greater self-compassion, were more emotionally stable, tended to ruminate less on negative feelings and thoughts, had greater wisdom, experienced less anxiety and depression, were less affected by stress, and had better overall psychological wellbeing.
In a study conducted on athletes, it was proven that people who practiced non-attachment and built the habit of letting go tended to have better mental health and were more likely to self-actualize than those who just practiced mindfulness.
A study done on more than 2,400 high schoolers discovered that nonattachment actually helped “protect against the development of poor mental health.” Students more experienced at letting go of negative thoughts and feelings were less likely to suffer from stress, anxiety, depression, and the other mental health issues so common to teenagers and young adults.
Non-attachment, or letting go, is such a fascinating concept. As one study explains: “Nonattachment comprises a balanced and flexible way of managing one's experiences without ‘clinging’ to those that are seen as positive or ‘pushing away’ those that are negative. Buddhist theory proposes that our mental fixations, or attachments, contribute to suffering as they can often fail to align with the ever-changing nature of life. By ‘letting go’ of these attachments an individual can live their life without getting unnecessarily stuck or fixated on needing experience to be one way or another.”
But that’s not all it can do. The study went on to explain, “As non-attached individuals are not fixated on needing specified outcomes, they can take advantage of opportunities as they arise rather than rigidly following predefined or expected directions. With the radical acceptance typical of nonattachment, positive or negative thoughts, feelings, or situations can pass through one's life with a sense of ease, rather than being fixations that must be attained or rejected.”
How amazing is that? It’s not just about letting go of thoughts or feelings, but not becoming
attached to specific outcomes or desires. In so doing, you become more mentally flexible and agile to take advantage of opportunities. You will be a more versatile person in every aspect of your life if you can practice this letting go.
How do you practice letting go, you ask? Here are some things to try:
- Consciously let go of past hurts. We all have them, and they often feel justified by the actions that caused the hurt. But making the conscious effort to let go of them will disconnect you from the negative emotions—and might even change your perspective.
- Choose optimism. It really is that simple a lot of the time. You can simply choose to see the bright side in any situation or the best in people. Changing to an optimist’s mindset can make letting go a lot easier.
- Choose how you react. Your reactions and responses to any situation aren’t governed by anyone else. YOU decide your reaction or response. Remember that next time you find yourself in a fraught or emotionally charged situation.
- Forgive. Forgive yourself for past mistakes and forgive others for past wrongs. Forgiveness is a step in the right direction toward letting go.
- Separate yourself from the toxic present. Move away from places where you experienced toxic or negative situations. Change jobs. Stop going to that bar or hanging out with that person. Changing your environment can make letting go much easier.
- Choose the healthy life. Choose to eat right, sleep right, exercise, and make healthier choices. Consciously love and praise yourself, and do things that build self-confidence. Living a mindful and intentional present will make letting go of the past exponentially easier.
Start practicing letting go today, and you will find your future is brighter, happier, and lighter than you could have possibly imagined!