All of the SSRI reuptake inhibitors made me a walking zombie.
I just wouldn't take them.
It's pretty pathetic when you can't go to a psychiatrist and get just Kolonopin.
You just have to have depression or be bi polar so you have no choice but to at least pretend to take the zombie drugs in order to get the one you need.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_serotonin_reuptake_inhibitor
I don't get it.
It's very possible to have PTSD and/or anxiety disorder and NOT be depressed.
I have a very simple self test for depression that anyone at home can try.
1) Do you like yourself?
If you answered yes to the above question then you are NOT depressed.
If a doctor puts you on anti depressants and you answer yes to the above question BEFORE you start taking then don't start taking them.
Getting misdiagnosed and taking anti depressants when not depressed may just make you answer NO to question 1.
Then you're fucked.
Well I generally do like myself. That aside, I was diagnosed as having what the psychologist called "garden variety general chronic clinical depression". Of course, this is a psychologist too that liked my explanation of the elusive "it" that folks strive to attain. Told him it was biggest self-help marketing and cosmic I had ever heard about.
The "It" joke follows something along these lines. Folks tell you that you'll feel all ecstatic & have a great pep and zest for life once you find "it". They also help tearing you down by saying you don't have "it", yet. They know they assure you because they have "it" and can tell.
So, you ask one of these happy go lucky "it" having folks, if they can afford to offer you some pointers to finding "it". They complain that's beyond their ability as "It" is different for everyone, but assure you, "you'll know "it" when you find "it"."
Told him then, those saying anything about "it" had no fucking clue, no such "magic bullet" existed. The whole thing is to sell some half-wit's "feel good by hugging your ego" book.
His response, "In thirty five years of doing this, I could only wish even one other patient of mine could understand that. You've explained all of society, the illness it creates rather on point, perfectly. You're correct too, no magic bullet exists, not even the one alleged to have killed JFK."
My depression stems from, I believe in part, the congenital physiological issue I face,
Kallmann syndrome (KS). It does all kinds of fun things internally, or rather helps to cause things not to do as they naturally ought to do. For example, I was born without olfactory nerves, which leads to anosmia, lacking sense of smell. That in itself so far is not listed as a disability, which I find funny.
Someone has no sigh? Disability. Someone has sense of hearing? Disability. Someone has no sense of smell? Well, that's fine, they can manage. I wish people understood how shameful it makes someone feel to need to rely upon a spouse, or close friend to politely remind them to shower, when body odor becomes an issue. Yes, I bathe fairly regularly & generally do have fair hygiene. But I can admit I go like an old dirty dog running, doing, not bothering to notice every once in a while.
That shame, doesn't need to be there. I've had to cope and learn to not take it offensively if I get a gentle reminder. Boy, I bet the deaf and blind are not given shame over their lacking ability. I know they are, my point though is they're granted a reprieve in that society views their lack as what is, a disability. You've no sense of smell they don't offer that to you. It's all on you.
Yes, I know we each need to be responsible for keeping ourselves clean. I don't deny that. But consider this, I might walk into a building/room filled with toxic gas that "smells this way or that so everyone knows to avoid it". Gee, well what about that? Society will ensure the deaf and blind don't get gassed. Me, the non-smelling fool? "Dumb ass, the place reeked of such and such gas/es!! Why the fuck did you go in there you stupid asshole!?" It doesn't need to be life threatening either, I've drank soured milk and got a case of runs before. Had no clue the milk was bad.
I think I've illustrated the double standard regarding sense of smell. I also found one in the U.S. Navy, apparently handling ordnance, working around nuclear power plants, building ships requires a large I am a spammer ban me. Not exactly sure as to why that is part of the requirements but from what little (no pun intended) that was part of why I was discharged and summarily rejected from any military service.
They of course wrote up as an educational error, as in what MILPERSMAN (the military's occupational guidebook) reads as being "not properly educated" for the rationale of why I was discharged. Funny I knew a few in boot that had not completed high school or gotten G.E.D, they continued on. I'm sure there were deals in place to ensure they did get that education.
I later developed with use of testosterone treatment I continue to this day. I've "filled out" quite well enough to suit anyone I've been with, man or woman. Granted I'm no Sylvester Stallone, but I'm not a puny wet puppy anymore either. I also knew diabetics in the service who continued to serve, took their medicines. Gee, my case is rather similar, take a daily medicine.
Now, looking back I no longer want to be part of the Service. Why should I? I'm still patriotic to America, yes, I still feel I'd uphold my oath. Not sure I could for THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, and yes there's a vast world of difference. Suffice it to say I honor my country, not it's Pharisee controlled government.
Facing these double standards in life does get depressing. It makes me sad to see people so stupid. I say they are stupid because they willingly choose to not learn, to not give up these double standards, that to me defines stupid -- having a choice yet still choosing to not act or learn. Ignorance on the other hand to me is not knowing or being aware, but choosing to admit that and choosing to learn or do better -- that's curable and easily overlooked, stupid isn't.
But yes, I like myself generally. Not saying there's no faults, bah, know damn well I'm all kinds of cracked, twisted and otherwise flawed. *chuckles* I work each day though to try to improve, not for anyone else but myself. We all can like ourselves, love ourselves yet still know and understand we need to keep growing. I think that is general human nature too, not so much that we lack any "it" which marketers try hooking us on.
I apologize for this novel here. *grin* Sometimes though one has a little to say, and that's not drama, merely expressing ideas and thoughts. By the by, I did finally "break" I guess you'd say, admit to the therapist and have her put it to record a diagnoses of P.T.S.D and general anxiety disorder for me. I kept refusing to let the "mental health professionals" ascribe that to me, despite nearly all suggesting it fit my case. I saw it as being labeled a "victim", which I by no means am. But, after a good bit of inner reflection I realized something inside, accepted it. So, here I am able to face up to that. Not sure if that's progress or not but it's at least something, so I'm told.