To keep it as short as possible...............
A good friend of mine wanted to fix me up with her cousin.
The "Date" was in a group setting at the yearly Son's Of Italy dinner/dance which was pretty much a black tie affair. Tux's for us guys and dinner dresses for the ladies. Very fancy and it was an 8 course dinner served with lots of wine.
When I was introduced to my date, well for starters she kind of looked like she had slept in her dress and had just gotten out of bed.
I tried to make polite conversation and in response I received mumbled words from pretty much a blank face with reddish eyes and dilated pupils.
Anyway, I made light conversation with the my friends and other guest and my date just kinda hung around.
Before long, it was announced that dinner was being served so we went to our table, I pulled out her chair for her and got her seated.
First course was Antipasto. Paper thin cuts of assorted meats and cheeses with veggies, olives and the like.
To my left was my friend who had set up the date. She nudged me and leaned in close and asked me how it was going with her cousin.
I looked to my right, and my date was passed out face first in the first course. I had had enough, I pushed my chair back so my friend could see what had happened, then I gently grabbed my date by her hair, lifted her head just enough so I could slide the food filled plate out from under her face and then I returned her still face down to the linen table cloth.
I turned back to my friend and told her that this was the most fun her cousin had been all evening so far.
The wait staff was summoned to help my friend move her to someplace she could sleep it off and the night improved for me at that point.
The next day my "Date" called to apologize and asked if she could take me to dinner.
I polity declined the honor.
True story.