Makes sending the pif box out a bit more fun for me. I get to send it to a friend in recovery!
Sent from my stupid iPhone because I don't have an Android.
Sent from my stupid iPhone because I don't have an Android.
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The Light at the End of the Tunnel
- Thread starter ghost62
- Start date
Hi everybody.
Sorry I missed a few days.
@ghost62 thanks for sharing so much with us and thank you for your dedication to this thread.
You got some big cahones sharing those intimate details like you did. I couldn't open up the way you did.
Got mad respect for you brother.
Got mad respect for all you folks for sharing and being a part of this.
Sorry I missed a few days.
@ghost62 thanks for sharing so much with us and thank you for your dedication to this thread.
You got some big cahones sharing those intimate details like you did. I couldn't open up the way you did.
Got mad respect for you brother.
Got mad respect for all you folks for sharing and being a part of this.
Frawg
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@Fishee I've been recovering from the dental thing. No vaping is sort of killing me. No gum chewing, no carbonated beverages...I can have soup or ice cream. I did get released to vape yesterday, tried it tonight and I'm awake and actually in pain for the first time since the extraction. Just the nerve and that muscle I know its just more than I want to try again anytime soon. I gave in and took a pain pill tonight because oh holy ow. It about brought tears to my eyes. I'm skipping the vaping until at least when stitches come out Tuesday. But we've been busy with work at the vape shop my boyfriend and I work at, and had one of our rescue kitties went to get spayed & a damaged eye removed yesterday (Thursday) I'll pick her up and bring her back to the house before I leave for work . Just busy, and now insomnia + pain = I need to sleep desperately. Melatonin is my friend, when it works.
M
maddvaper
Guest
Clean date 3/6/2011.Once while speaking I gave my vapedate Instead of my clean date. 
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SO... some advice please. I have a sponsee that i just found out is using KRATOM (bought at a gas station, a 5 hr looking "drink" called Pure Zen).
He is a drinker and benzo guy and has 3 months C&S (if you can call it that).
He just finished a 4th step and we are supposed to do his 5th today (which i am now uncomfortable with).
Should I suggest he take a white chip and go back to step one, drop him, or what?
He is a drinker and benzo guy and has 3 months C&S (if you can call it that).
He just finished a 4th step and we are supposed to do his 5th today (which i am now uncomfortable with).
Should I suggest he take a white chip and go back to step one, drop him, or what?
Just saw your post. In a meeting but I will get back to ya in a few
Sounds like you've been a busy lady. I wish I could work at a vape shop. The closest one to me is a 90 mile round trip. But when I do get a chance to go visit it I talk the poor lady's ear off. But she's a sweety and is patient with me and my enthusiasm.
I think animal rescue is so commendable! Poor little kitty, hope it recovers well.
Brakes my heart to think of you crying. But I know how excruciating mouth pain can be. I hope you get past this part of the recovery soon. Mouth pain is so terrible.
I too need a melatonin often times. I can't get my brain to shut up. So sometimes forcing it to helps.
Hope you were able to get some much needed rest.
Hope you feel much better today.
Budkiss, what did your sponsor suggest? I know nothing about this stuff, but I'm reading about it now. If it's something he's continually using to change how he feels, then I'm sure you know the answer. I once had a sponsee actually steal something from me.
I have peripheral neuropathy and was prescribed a non-narcotic med for it. When I asked her why, she said she couldn't take the pain of her headaches and thought it could help her. I did ask her to change her date, she chose not to. Because she stole from me I could not trust her, obviously, and asked her to please find another sponsor. Several months later, she admitted to using narcotics.
I took the suggestions of my own sponsor, to talk with her about it all, but for her to understand, consequences do follow actions. We're still friends, but our relationship did change. I couldn't be her sponsor in clear conscience.
I have peripheral neuropathy and was prescribed a non-narcotic med for it. When I asked her why, she said she couldn't take the pain of her headaches and thought it could help her. I did ask her to change her date, she chose not to. Because she stole from me I could not trust her, obviously, and asked her to please find another sponsor. Several months later, she admitted to using narcotics.
I took the suggestions of my own sponsor, to talk with her about it all, but for her to understand, consequences do follow actions. We're still friends, but our relationship did change. I couldn't be her sponsor in clear conscience.
After reading more, I personally want no part of that stuff. Everything I've read or browsed reads the same. I won't use wiki as my base, so I'll post this article from Scientific American magazine.
Kratom , by most accounts, certainly qualifies as both addictive and 'mood and mind altering',' albeit relatively mild.
Chronic users experience varying degrees of dependence and withdrawal similar to caffeine addiction (they are closely related) although the 'high' is different.
But still, what we use isn't as important as WHY we use.
Sit him down with all the information about kratom you can get your hands on and find out why he is drinking this Pure Zen.
Is it just a lack of understanding on his part or is he using this stuff as a substitute for his drugs of choice?
Then trust your gut.
I wouldn't drop a sponsee over a simple lack of knowledge BUT if he is justifying his using by saying that it's legal and harmless, then he probably isn't ready to be sharing a searching and fearless moral inventory.
It's your call, of course, but I would talk it through, get a feel for where his head is and if he is 'using', then start him over.
Either way, it sounds like he hasn't built a strong foundation in Steps 1-3 and may need to revisit them before moving on
Chronic users experience varying degrees of dependence and withdrawal similar to caffeine addiction (they are closely related) although the 'high' is different.
But still, what we use isn't as important as WHY we use.
Sit him down with all the information about kratom you can get your hands on and find out why he is drinking this Pure Zen.
Is it just a lack of understanding on his part or is he using this stuff as a substitute for his drugs of choice?
Then trust your gut.
I wouldn't drop a sponsee over a simple lack of knowledge BUT if he is justifying his using by saying that it's legal and harmless, then he probably isn't ready to be sharing a searching and fearless moral inventory.
It's your call, of course, but I would talk it through, get a feel for where his head is and if he is 'using', then start him over.
Either way, it sounds like he hasn't built a strong foundation in Steps 1-3 and may need to revisit them before moving on
Hiya Madd!Clean date 3/6/2011.Once while speaking I gave my vapedate Instead of my clean date.
Welcome!
Thanks all for the words of great wisdom. (I did seek counsel from my sponsor too.)
Well... I sat him down and first assured him of my love and concern. I shared with him about my previous relapse experience and how the progression led to disaster.
I asked him to define the problem, the solution, and the plan of action. I asked him if powerlessness and manageability apply only to benzo's and alcohol... Or all mood altering chemicals. I helped him to see a bit clearer the addictive behavior, the mental obsession, the dishonesty and denial. He was resistant at first claiming it was only a few times. He did finally admit this qualifies as a relapse And I asked him to pray about changing his sobriety date and take a white chip.
We postponed his 5th step for obvious reasons. All in all it went better than I expected. I will continue to work with him to the degree he is honest, open minded and willing.
Thanks again!!!
Well... I sat him down and first assured him of my love and concern. I shared with him about my previous relapse experience and how the progression led to disaster.
I asked him to define the problem, the solution, and the plan of action. I asked him if powerlessness and manageability apply only to benzo's and alcohol... Or all mood altering chemicals. I helped him to see a bit clearer the addictive behavior, the mental obsession, the dishonesty and denial. He was resistant at first claiming it was only a few times. He did finally admit this qualifies as a relapse And I asked him to pray about changing his sobriety date and take a white chip.
We postponed his 5th step for obvious reasons. All in all it went better than I expected. I will continue to work with him to the degree he is honest, open minded and willing.
Thanks again!!!
Sounds like a program of recovery. Very good stuff, Bud.
Well handled.
Hopefully, someday, he will be ready to sponsor and will remember the example you set.
All of the readings are good today but the Hazelden page is one that I really needed to be reminded of.
I sometimes get so wrapped up in work and family responsibilities that I forget to take care of me and I end up paying a price for it- usually exhaustion, insomnia and extreme crankiness.
Reading that helped me see that, again, if I'm going to be there for others, I must first be there for me.
I sometimes get so wrapped up in work and family responsibilities that I forget to take care of me and I end up paying a price for it- usually exhaustion, insomnia and extreme crankiness.
Reading that helped me see that, again, if I'm going to be there for others, I must first be there for me.
@BUDKISS - Great job. It's tough being a sponsor and trying to make the right calls. Especially when it's OTC or convenience store goods. But, heck, bath salts can be some of the most dangerous stuff there is right now & you just got to go to Walgreens or the Dollar Store to get your fix. It's mind boggling what we will resort to.
Many blessings for this weekend to all.
Ghost62 - I tend to forget HALT, when I'm in the middle of something. But, I always end up paying for it (so do those around me). It seems that Hazeldon is always just what I need to hear. Today's excerpt was from Melody Beattie. I had every book & workbook that she ever wrote. Read them over and over and them passed them on to one of my daughters-in-law. I need to be on the look out and replace them. I can always use reminding - especially her advice on letting go!
Many blessings for this weekend to all.
I tried to make it housecleaning day.... that didn't work out so well. I swear, I developed ADD about the time I hit 50. So, I started shaving down the guard ring on my VTR, trying to get it large enough for my Aqua to fit (I don't think I could ever get it another mm for a Kayfun) - some do, though. After all that grinding, I've REALLY got a mess to clean up now. Perhaps a bird will flit by me as I get started tomorrow and I'll forget all about mopping the floors. The older I get, the less those things bother me anyway. I hope everyone has had a nice, serene & sober weekend. Blessings.
Thanks!
Tomorrow is my weekend and it looks to be pretty hectic, but that doesn't mean I have to be.
M
maddvaper
Guest
Ghost pretty neat our vape dates are bout the same.I got my first vape (a roughstak) in january /2012 and quit the anologs completely bout 1st of March of 2012
Wife got me a Mistic cheapo kit from Walmart for Valentine's Day 2012 but it took a month for it to click with me
Just got results from some tests I had done.
I need a hip replacement.
Football, a motorcycle accident, getting T-boned in the driver's side door by a Buick Roadmaster and years of just plain stupidity have taken a pretty hefty toll.
Looks like it's catching up to me.
Doc said I shouldn't even be walking, let alone working, but I don't have much choice.
Guess the next few months are going to be a test of my commitment to no painkillers. I've made it this far (been hurting me for a couple years, steadily getting worse) but doc said it's gonna get pretty bad.
Higher Power, give me strength.
I'd rather deal with the pain than the hell of active addiction again.
I need a hip replacement.
Football, a motorcycle accident, getting T-boned in the driver's side door by a Buick Roadmaster and years of just plain stupidity have taken a pretty hefty toll.
Looks like it's catching up to me.
Doc said I shouldn't even be walking, let alone working, but I don't have much choice.
Guess the next few months are going to be a test of my commitment to no painkillers. I've made it this far (been hurting me for a couple years, steadily getting worse) but doc said it's gonna get pretty bad.
Higher Power, give me strength.
I'd rather deal with the pain than the hell of active addiction again.
Sorry to hear that, ghost. I take that drug on occasion with another for peripheral neuropathy. It does help the other medication do it's job better for those days it just kicks my ass. The other is Trileptal XR (also non-narcotic), which is for seizures, but has an off market affect for neuropathic pain. Wishing you the best! Many people experience great relief very soon after hip replacement. I've known several in recovery that did wonderfully and, like you, relied upon their HP.
Thanks @Huckleberried
I had a long talk with my sponsor earlier and he questioned my decision on the painkillers- wanted to make sure I wasn't playing martyr.
Not the case.
I'm a strong S.O.B., physically, mentally AND spiritually and the only thing that has ever kicked my butt is addiction.
I'm not being the martyr saying that I am bigger than the pain- I'm saying my disease is bigger than me and I'm not going to take the chance.
The pain will be temporary.
This too shall pass
I had a long talk with my sponsor earlier and he questioned my decision on the painkillers- wanted to make sure I wasn't playing martyr.
Not the case.
I'm a strong S.O.B., physically, mentally AND spiritually and the only thing that has ever kicked my butt is addiction.
I'm not being the martyr saying that I am bigger than the pain- I'm saying my disease is bigger than me and I'm not going to take the chance.
The pain will be temporary.
This too shall pass
Your HP is bigger than your disease buddy. Also of dis-ease. Hang in there.
Sent from my stupid iPhone because I don't have an Android.
Sent from my stupid iPhone because I don't have an Android.
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Not sure when it will be- lots of hoops to jump thru first.That sucks @ghost62 - good luck on your surgery and hopefully quick recovery!
Insurance approval.
Dental clearance
Work schedules...
Thank you!
On the plus side, I will be able to hang out here more often...
So... need some input. If you recall I sat down last week with a sponsee about changing his sobriety date and taking a white chip because he was abusing a liquid kratom drink found in some gas stations. (called "pure zen". Its like an opiate) I thought the talk went well but it appears he has taken no action and now he wants to do his 5th step with me. I am needless to say a bit leery of doing his 5th with him if he hasn't been honest about step 1. I think it may be time to cut him loose. Maybe he isn't quite done yet.
Input?
Input?
Trust your gut.
Your instincts seem pretty good and you are closer to the situation than any of us.
Some things to keep in mind though...
We help others to keep OURSELVES clean. That said, we do have the right to set conditions on our help. Basically, it's ok to 'lay down the law' with a sponsee.
Explain that you don't feel he is ready and give him the reasons why.
Then leave it up to him- he can start again with you or seek another sponsor.
Either way- he's back to Step 1
The most informative, understandable info that I could find is here: http://www.zamnesia.com/content/36-chemistry-of-kratom
Meditations
http://www.jftna.org/jft/
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection
http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1904
Sorry I'm later than usual posting these. Feeling kinda under the weather, which bites cuz I have a dinner party for 11 people tonight.
This too shall pass, I guess
http://www.jftna.org/jft/
http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection
http://www.hazelden.org/web/public/thought.view?catId=1904
Sorry I'm later than usual posting these. Feeling kinda under the weather, which bites cuz I have a dinner party for 11 people tonight.
This too shall pass, I guess