How is Australia still a thing? Everything there is trying to kill people. You know that they call the second most venomous snake? The common brown snake.
Ha ha ha , thats exactly right , that sucker is scary as hell and is still found regularly in people houses for Gods sake .
You decide to go surfing you lose your leg to Mr Great White , you hop away and eventually end up on the bank of an inland waterway but make the mistake of bending down to pick up something shiny in the water .
As you pull it out of the mud you realize it's a sign thats says " crocodile infested waters " . Of course by this time Mr Croc has already taken both your arms off at the shoulder .
Unbelievably you manage to jump with your one remaining leg and avoid Mr Crocs attempt to finish you off . You manage to get out of there by using the strength of only your chin to pull yourself along the shoulder of the highway until you end up at your garage door.
Finally you have made it home , as your laying their with no arms , one leg and a chin thats bleeding profusely you manage to get up and hop inside the garage with a sigh of relief .
As your only feet from the door to get inside you realize that the Worlds second most deadliest snake has made a nest in your garage and is very protective of it's territory , your attempts at escape are futile as Mr snake has already sunken it's fangs into your ass and isn't letting go. Man does this suck .
Your frantically hopping, spinning and twisting trying to get this snake from hell to let go of your ass and somehow you did it , it let go (but not before releasing enough venom to kill 20 men of course) , you celebrate briefly anyway .
You did it , your inside and safe . Now you must get your keys , shoes and race to the hospital before it's too late , as you grab your one sneaker and start to slip your one foot inside you realize that the Words deadliest spider happens to reside there .
Moral of the story is fuck living in Australia , just not worth it , at least imo.
Thats living in Australia i suppose.