Lets talk about our rules

[MoocH 1]

We all have life rules but we never talk them out and we end up mad at one another. So here are some of my rules. Hopefully you add to it and we can be more peaceful:

1) If you take the parking space I'm waiting for I only get two days to hide your body
​

Be cleanly I always say.​

2) We have to brush our teeth prior to kissing and after we've gone down on each other
​

Besides, I need time to readjust the camera..​

stupid auto focus.
3) Staring is restricted to 4 seconds​

What is with staring people? They don't wave...or nod; they just pull up next to you and go soul searching.​

​

Here's the deal:
*Two second stare and you are required to wave
* Three seconds and no wave is automatic restraining order
*Five second wave and it should be totally acceptable for me to charge you while I fondle myself.​

If you've looked at me for longer than five seconds we're either building communication or sexual friction.
4) No Answering calls during Sex
But we really need to determine who should be mad​

you because someone called during sex?
the girl you're sleeping with because you answered?
Or your girlfriend because you're gonna be late to dinner again?

5) If my shopping cart is full and you have one item- you can only pass if I like what you're buying
If it's a tabloid, not only are you not passing, it'll be 30 minutes of me trying to find the right debt card.

And guess what, asshole, I left it in the car.
Besides, you don't need a tabloid. Here's today's news:​

Kim's ass is fat...

...Kim's husband is an ass...

...and one of the "Real House Wives" got drunk at a party.​

Now give me five dollars and stand your ass in line.
6) If You're in line ahead of me at Starbucks, you must only order coffee:
You don't come to the only place selling legal speed and order muffins.

I'm a coffee shop person. I'm here to get shakier than Ray Rice's wife and act like I write for a living.​

If your drink requires two pumps of anything - then it's back of the line you go.
If it requires soy we make you wear a scarlet letter and stand on the patio.​

These are some of my rules. What are your rules?
​

​

 

[BrutusGM]

If you have just spent 5 (or more) min waiting in line to order something then when it is finally your turn to order, if you take more than 6 sec. to decide what you want to order - FAIL - and go back to the end of the line.. How could you wait all that time then once you have something to actually do completely waste the entire time you waited to now decide what you are going to get????? Try again and have your mind made up when it is your turn!!

 

[Giraut]

I have a rule: wait 24h before buying anything cheap, 24h more per $10,000 of the price of a car, and 24h more per $100,000 of the price of a house you want to buy. You'll be surprised how quickly impulse purchase envies vanish with that rule, and how many dud cars and houses you'll avoid purchasing.

 

[cherrycakes]

If you are in front of me in the grocery store paying with an access card and causing a hold up because you are trying to buy a non food item I am going to sigh and complain loudly

 

[m3rma1d]

People of the USA: Quit bringing your fucking dogs into every fucking store and indoor public area you go to. Pet store? Fine. ACTUAL* service animal? Fine. Anything else? Your dog can fuck right off.

*And I mean ACTUALLY helping you because you've got a genuine disability. You know what the fuck I'm talking about.

 

[ghost62]

Have your freaking check signed and card out BEFORE you pull into the ATM!
And if you've tried to get money out twice already, GIVE THE F#&K UP! You're broke, now get the hell outta my way!

 

[ghost62]

If you pull out in front of me, you damn well better be prepared to drive as fast as me.
If not, I have the right to force you off the road.

 

[UncleRJ]

Wait at least three months after a new mod has been shipped to the general public to allow time for reviews to be available in quantity before actually purchasing said mod.

Wait another four months to see if the price goes down or something better is available for the same price.

Repeat as necessary.

 

[ghost62]

When dealing with your spouse/significant other, always ask yourself this question-
'Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?'

 

[retrox]

If you make me more than 5 minutes late for work on a morning when I'm in the mood for a McGriddle because you decided it would be a swell idea to buy breakfast for everyone at your office FROM THE FUCKING DRIVE-THRU INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR LAZY ASS INSIDE... then one of those 23 Sausage McMuffins belongs to me. For every minute beyond 5 that you cost me, I receive one additional McMuffin.

If you run out of McMuffins to pay me for my time, I'm allowed a corresponding measure of time alone with your car and my baseball bat.

 

[glassgrl]

Personal space- respect it. If you are standing in line behind me and I can smell what you had for lunch, you are too close and I will do my best to nut you with my purse.

 

[Ace]

If you are not me or a few select members of humanity chosen by me : I don't give a good god damn what you like or want. you are not worth my time to explain how insignificant you are. If you continue to annoy me they may not find the body.

Oh! And I totally second the dogs in stores thing. I freaking hate that!!!!!

 

[Hobby Kid]

If I ask you what your interests are don't say reading writing and walks in the countryside. You just made that up.

And never tell me you watch soap operas or I'll see you like one of their characters.

 

[HoseGarden]

there's really only one especially during this time of year

baseball >> women

and yes im single :S

 

[Ace]

If I ask you what your interests are don't say reading writing and walks in the countryside. You just made that up.

Around here It's 'anything outdoors, hiking, biking, and kayaking'
really? I never would've guessed from the pale complexion and... nevermind.

 

[Hobby Kid]

Around here It's 'anything outdoors, hiking, biking, and kayaking'
really? I never would've guessed from the pale complexion and... nevermind.

Hahaha I know right !

("Cozy nights in with a bottle of wine") actually I'll hold them to that

 

[cherrycakes]

When dealing with your spouse/significant other, always ask yourself this question-
'Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?'

my husband needs to learn this one

 

[Bitgod]

The drive through at the bank is for quick cash getting or a simple deposit. Don't make a 10 minute thing out of it!

 

[m3rma1d]

If you make me more than 5 minutes late for work on a morning when I'm in the mood for a McGriddle because you decided it would be a swell idea to buy breakfast for everyone at your office FROM THE FUCKING DRIVE-THRU INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR LAZY ASS INSIDE... then one of those 23 Sausage McMuffins belongs to me. For every minute beyond 5 that you cost me, I receive one additional McMuffin.

If you run out of McMuffins to pay me for my time, I'm allowed a corresponding measure of time alone with your car and my baseball bat.

But I thought you wanted a McGriddle?

 

[ghost62]

Never pass up time with loved ones in favor of social media. Real life happens in the real world. No one cares that you have a thousand Facebook friends

 

[MoocH 1]

Never pass up time with loved ones in favor of social media. Real life happens in the real world. No one cares that you have a thousand Facebook friends

Facebook friends are like assholes...



That's all.

 

[Ace]

Says the guy on the online forum...

Never pass up time with loved ones in favor of social media. Real life happens in the real world. No one cares that you have a thousand Facebook friends

 

[m3rma1d]

Add me! facebook.com/m3rma1d

 

[UncleRJ]

When dealing with your spouse/significant other, always ask yourself this question-
'Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?'

When you get into an argument with your wife. And it get heated (no physical violence of course).

If she says "You have to sleep sometime" take it to heart!

 

[ghost62]

Avoid fighting if at all possible but, if you have no other choice, end it quick and hurt them so badly that they never want to fight you again.

 

[GargoyleK1]

You complain while in line at the grocery store while my wife makes sure her 100 bucks worth of coupons come off her order I get to punch you in the face till it gets squishy…

She is saving our money.. Go to self checkout if your in that much of a hurry.

 

[Ace]

You complain while in line at the grocery store while my wife makes sure her 100 bucks worth of coupons come off her order I get to punch you in the face till it gets squishy…

She is saving our money.. Go to self checkout if your in that much of a hurry.

But. If you spend 10 minutes arguing about why that 48 cent coupon doesnt work I get to shove a pineapple up your ass because you're wasting my time.

 

[cherrycakes]

But. If you spend 10 minutes arguing about why that 48 cent coupon doesnt work I get to shove a pineapple up your ass because you're wasting my time.

Kinky

 

[MrScaryZ]

You go into Walmart having to pack a .45 because you are not sure if that person waiting in line in front of you is human or literally a demonic entity from Beyond time and space

 

[Ace]

Kinky

Glad I caught your attention

 

[GargoyleK1]

But. If you spend 10 minutes arguing about why that 48 cent coupon doesnt work I get to shove a pineapple up your ass because you're wasting my time.

I'll spend an hour if I want. Yeah. I will do that. I'm sick and tired of all those fuckers that think the extra 5 to 10 minutes it takes for her to check out is more important than the hours she spends every week trying to make it so we can pay our bills and still be able to eat.

Wasting your time??? You just hand her the money out of your pocket for her coupons and you will speed it right up. Otherwise you can go to the self check out and go as fast as you want.

Tired of people thinking their time is so much more important than everyone else's. See that shit everyday with tailgaters and impatient people causing issues for everyone around them cause of their self centered asses.

. Okay. Rant over. Lol.


Sent from that squirrel, in that tree, watching you.

 

[Ace]

Ah. If you have the right to take all the time you want, don't I have the right to complain?
My time isn't more important than yours but it is just as important. Are your problems more important than mine? I'm going to skip over the driving thing, that probably needs its own thread. Lets see, what else....
oh. I actually have tried to give someone money from my pocket ro speed things up. Offerd a dollar to replace a 50c coupon. Got a dirty look and she went back to arguing.

 

[GargoyleK1]

Lol. Point taken.


Sent from that squirrel, in that tree, watching you.

 

[Ace]

Which brings me to the next rule.

If you disagree with someone on an online forum you don't have to call names and start a hatefest. Show a little respect, say your piece, move on.

 

[GargoyleK1]

But name calling is fun. Lol.


Sent from that squirrel, in that tree, watching you.

 

[HoseGarden]

Which brings me to the next rule.

If you disagree with someone on an online forum you don't have to call names and start a hatefest. Show a little respect, say your piece, move on.

yes you do, bitch!

 

[Ace]

 

[retrox]

But I thought you wanted a McGriddle?

I always want a McGriddle, but at 7:53 A.M. I'll happily eat a McBooger if it's free (and served on a toasty English muffin).

 

[Giraut]

Facebook friends are like assholes...

That's not true: you only have one asshole.

I always want a McGriddle, but at 7:53 A.M. I'll happily eat a McBooger if it's free (and served on a toasty English muffin).

It'll be a cold day in hell before I step inside a fast food joint again. Eating anything there makes me physically sick. Last time I ate a McSomething, about 15 years ago, I came out nauseous and feeling like I was sweating cooking oil...

 

[Demoniacal]

If you are one of those people who go to the grocery store and grab 3 carts of food and then proceed to the express checkout lane, I get to take one of those carts and run you over with it until you can learn that 12 items or less means go to a different line. Also, if you're using coupons/ paying by check/ or any other form of payment that takes forever to process, go to another line.

 

[ghost62]

Never reply to your own post

 

[ghost62]

Never reply to your own post

Unless you want to

 

[ghost62]

Poofread you posts before posting them

 

[ghost62]

Never post back-to-back replies to a thread.

 

[Hobby Kid]

what is it about feeling the need to type ALL YOU'RE POSTS IN BOLD FONT OR CAPITALS?

@Hobby Kid said: what is it about feeling the need to >>>>>"type"<<<<< ALL YOU'RE POSTS IN BOLD FONT OR CAPITALS? ?????

if you do this you're an asshole and you've probably done it

 

[Frawg]

If you're going to cheat on your spouse, do not, email the escort service & bitch about the "service" you received.

Do Not save that email in your sent folder for 4 years because you're too lazy to empty your history. DO NOT assume your wife is as ignorant as you are when it comes to computers, and then ask her to fix your shit again, when you leave your email open, do not trust her to trust your shady ass, she will read your whiny email about how you got the wrong hooker.

Do not expect her to sleep with you when you have an unexplainable genitourinary infection, and don't expect her to stay with your ass.

 

[Frawg]

If you come into the shop, we refuse to sell to you something that is unsafe, for any price in 20 minutes, don't come back tomorrow when I'm in the shop by myself, fighting PMS. Then demand the manager, that's me, it's your unlucky day. Especially if the reason you're i a hurry is you have to go back to jail in 15 minutes, do not call me a stupid bitch, I will become stupid and incapable of selling you anything so you have to go back to jail without your shit.

 

[Roger Schaeffer]

I Also, if you're using coupons/ paying by check/ or any other form of payment that takes forever to process, go to another line.

Right Because the World does center around you

 

[Roger Schaeffer]

" Also, if you're using coupons/ paying by check/ or any other form of payment that takes forever to process, go to another line."

I say someone paying with loose change has as much right to the Express Lane as the people with no tolerance for other people do. Checkbooks irk me a little bit but I can't get my panties all in a bundle because some elderly person still uses a check book. In Fact most elderly people probably did more for society then the present smartphone- tech savvy people like me will ever do!

At the Express Lane the Sign 10-12-15 items or less refers to the number of items Not Method of Payment. As I am closer to 60 then 40 I have a lot more tolerance of others then when I was younger including people a generation behind in payment methods and people not as agile and quick on their feet as I am.

 

[Whiskey]

If your on a road crew working on road construction holding back traffic and peoples time slots at the doctors office you better not be leaning on a shovel eating a sub sammich or I will run your lazy ass over, It was my right to do so and I will receive no fine and prison time.