Teresa P
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Senior Moderator
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Member For 4 Years
Hospital internet sucks and that's where we are for our bi-/tri-annual visit with the husband over his asthma. Got pretty serious this time, he's in ICU on a ventilator, but they hope that's out today, been here since yesterday afternoon.
He's never smoked a cigarette in his life, yet has been told he was born with the lungs of a 70-year-old lifetime smoker. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel a bit guilty about that. I think of all the cigs I huffed in over 27 years, as well as the other "things" I've smoked, yet he's the one lying here with a tube down his throat. Every day is a struggle to breathe, even with all his meds, and the changes in seasons put him in here nearly every time.
I'm getting pretty good at stealth vaping- hiding in the bathroom or behind a pillow and blowing it down the front of my shirt - but I can't help but look at him and wonder "Why?" When I started vaping he was thrilled, although he never once said anything about me smoking. He's still my biggest cheerleader, never says a word about anything I buy, be it a mod or another tank, or a massive flavor order, or even another bottle of nic every other payday. He supports me 110% and that's a very large part of why I've been successful with this. But I still have to wonder why it's him going through all this and not me. I deserve it.
Appreciate the ear, and would certainly appreciate the prayers.....
He's never smoked a cigarette in his life, yet has been told he was born with the lungs of a 70-year-old lifetime smoker. Maybe I'm crazy, but I feel a bit guilty about that. I think of all the cigs I huffed in over 27 years, as well as the other "things" I've smoked, yet he's the one lying here with a tube down his throat. Every day is a struggle to breathe, even with all his meds, and the changes in seasons put him in here nearly every time.
I'm getting pretty good at stealth vaping- hiding in the bathroom or behind a pillow and blowing it down the front of my shirt - but I can't help but look at him and wonder "Why?" When I started vaping he was thrilled, although he never once said anything about me smoking. He's still my biggest cheerleader, never says a word about anything I buy, be it a mod or another tank, or a massive flavor order, or even another bottle of nic every other payday. He supports me 110% and that's a very large part of why I've been successful with this. But I still have to wonder why it's him going through all this and not me. I deserve it.
Appreciate the ear, and would certainly appreciate the prayers.....