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Taking a moment to show off my awesome kid
- Thread starter zephyr
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I have a 12 year old with Asperger's. About 2 years ago I was scolding him for something. He sat there with a sullen look on his face and then said the following. "What possible response can I give to bring this conversation to a speedy conclusion?" I was shocked and sputtered "Say you're sorry!" "I'm sorry!" he said. I think I lost that one. Be careful what you wish for.
What did you wish for?
Edit: My mom has told me she thinks I'm on the Autism spectrum, but I don't think so. I didn't manage to be comfortable around people until my late 20s. Just in case, though, I have argued to keep my daughter in preschool, no matter what. My mom took me out of daycare when I was 3 after only a month, and I think I may have missed an important opportunity to learn to be around other kids.
Hannah's teacher told me at the PTC Friday that not only is Hannah brilliant, but now she is playing with other kids. Last Fall she only played by herself. That was the Best thing I heard in the conference. I also got to see how much her teacher really cares.
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I'm a linguist. We taught both of our children sign language. We were signing to them a month after they were born. They were soon able to communicate their basic needs which alleviates a lot of crying and aggravation. My oldest was reading at the age of 2. I've always spoken to them with normal speech patterns which decreases their learning time. When he was in 4th grade he went to a six school system spelling bee in Dubai. There were two groups, grade 4-6 and 7-8. He won his group, then they put him with the top two from the older group. He won the bee. His language skills are impressive to say the least.
So, to answer your question, I simply wanted my children to be highly literate. What I didn't know or expect was that it could be used against me. I guess I never thought it all the way through. One morning as we were all getting ready I got very annoyed because the boys were going to make me late for work as I usually dropped them at school. I ended up letting my wife take them. After I had left my wife admonished the boys to not aggravate their father with their dilly-dallying. My oldest then said (my wife records all this stuff), "If it wasn't for us he would be a bitter old man without any progeny." He's only 12. I don't imagine it's going to get any nicer once his hormones are in full berserker mode.
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Have you had her evaluated? If she is on the spectrum she's old enough to be assessed. It's a huge spectrum and just about every kid is unique. There are some excellent people in the US who can help. The US is by far the leader of the world when it comes to helping and working with kids on the spectrum. There is also a lot of government money put into the area as well. It's certainly worth looking into. The stigma of autism has diminished greatly in the US.
I'll add that once our son was diagnosed in the US at the ages of 2.5 and 3, we began to learn about it. One day while reading it hit me that I have Asperger's. This a common occurrence as it is genetic and most of us older adults never had the opportunity to be diagnosed. I was floored by the realization, absolutely gutted by it. I became very angry not because I am an Aspie but by the memories that flooded over me of all the bullshit I had to put up with my entire life. All the people who told me there was something wrong with me, that I was anti-social and awkward. The girlfriends and ex-wives who thought they could change me and failed, of course. The teachers who had no clue as to how to teach me. I was angry for a few weeks and I felt I was entitled to that anger.
However, knowing I am an Aspie has also been liberating for me. I now understand myself fully and it all makes sense to me, the way I was, and am now. My wife of 19 years accepted me years ago for who I am and she points out the strengths and qualities of being an Aspie. Yes, it's frustrating for her at times but it's all good. I learned and adapted quite well over the years but it was difficult, painful and a long haul. So, that being said, I know my son can do the same. But he has the benefit of the knowledge the world now has about the spectrum and the general acceptance of it. There's nothing wrong with being an Aspie, it's just being human with all of its variability, quirkiness and uniqueness.
I've become quite good at spotting it now and I've seen a few here whether they know they are or not.
