You need to work on your personal problem George before you kill yourself because of it.
Get professional help.
This.
One of the reasons I used to smoke was because I had deep personal issues that I tried to not deal with by "self medicating". There came a point in my life where it was deal with these issues, or just kill myself trying to avoid them. I actually started by going to my local psychiatrist. She helped me to begin the process of determining whether I had physical issues causing my symptoms, if they were a chemical imbalance, deep rooted emotions I hadn't dealt with etc.
When people would tell me that cigarettes were going to kill me, I'd respond "I'm counting on it."
Dealing with the core issues helped me to become a better step-daddy, a better husband, a better lover, and generally an all around more productive human being.
Even after that, it was still years before I quit smoking cigs. I had tried vaping years before and it worked for about a year or so? Then shit happens and back to the cigs. This was when ego cig things were coming out and "mods" were not necessarily commercially available.
The 15th was my wife and I's 3 month vaporversary. She found a good replacement to her habit in vaping and not only did I find that, I found a new hobby (something I desperately needed).
Over the course of these 3 months, I went from 12mg nic down to about 3mg. Depending on my mood sometimes I'll get a bottle of 2mg. As far as I'm concerned , I'm happy to stay right where I am. I'm already feeling better, smelling better, breathing better. My house, my clothes, my vehicles all smell better. I am more motivated to get out and do things. I don't have to take as many "smoke stops" while I'm out riding my motorcycle. Life is good, and getting better.
You gotta start somewhere.
